Seeing Kiki today who is no longer a child that I can carry, instead... Kiki is my honest and spontaneous discussion partner, Kiki who has started her career, I see quite far the journey we have traveled together and I never stop thanking God for HIS und-ending love and mercy. How time flies, she has accomplished her postgraduate studies this year.
As a single parent, Kiki is a reflection of my life's journey. Like parents in general I also experience worries and fear. Fear of not being able to educate and raise her properly. Afraid of making mistakes so often I 'forgot' to enjoy her existence. Worry, have I been present to be the parent she needs? I have to manage my time as well as possible as a working mother who is also a bread winner and a head of the family.
I don't know how to be an ideal parent. I was realistic enough to accept that our situations were different compared to 'normal' families in common. With only one single parent plays multiple roles as a Mom, a Dad, a bread-winner, a friend of each other, of course it is different compared to the ideal family.
Our life journey taught me many life lessons. The hardest learning process was how not to project all my fears and worries onto her. I experienced a very deep inner struggle until I finally realized that Kiki is an independent individual who was born with the freedom to be herself, without the need to be burdened by all forms of my worries. Of course I still teach her about the values of life that she should live, to always be thankful in any situation, to always involve God in every single thing in life.
Our life is not perfect, our journey is not always smooth, we are certainly not an ideal complete beauty family, but we are fine! :)
To God all the glory!
