LIFE BEGINS AT 40

People say ---Life begins at 40---. Why so? I think it is because, generally by that age, we have been through the insecurities and brashness of youth and have (hopefully) established ourselves in a place where we feel comfortable and no longer have to prove ourselves to anyone. We should have gained quite a lot of experience in life by that age and don't keep repeating the mistakes we made previously which made us or those around us unhappy. We have learned not to talk before we think and that we don't automatically know everything, and we are open to other peoples' thoughts and opinions. Even if we do not agree with them, we respect their right and their beliefs. 

Having my birthday (Nov 15), helps me to feel more acutely the passing of time, and that’s very good for my soul, because I need to be reminded that I’m getting older. I need to be reminded that I have a limited amount of time on this earth.  For this reason, every year I have a little birthday tradition : I study Psalm 90—a Psalm that helps me meditate on the fleeting nature of life. And as I look ahead to upcoming years, I ask GOD to give me "a heart of wisdom". The passing of a year is a chance for me to humbly reflect on the brevity of life and, in doing so, to see more clearly what matters most.

I thank GOD for a lovely daughter, healthiness, very few but truly genuine friends, a good job, lessons in life and an unknown but exciting future. YES, I am 40 and fantastic!

Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom

WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN?

I asked some people the same question, what love means to them, they gave spontaneous answers, and I wrote them down, some answers I took from old emails. These are sweet, cute, touching, profound and some very practical answers to that question.

I will start with what my lovely daughter Kiki said about love : “My mommy loves me more than anybody. She kisses me to sleep at night, she never stop singing till I fall asleep, she never get bored saying "I love you" even a thousand times a day, and keep saying that I am beautiful even when I am sweating. I hear she calls my name in her prayers”

Then, what is the meaning of love according to :

Robert Rimkoski : Love is many things but true love is when my body aches with joy and sadness at the same time.  When I feel like enough is never enough.  When just holding hands together makes me complete then I know I have found it.

Robert Swanson : “Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope, it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.”

Erly : “It is the way I show and express my feeling to a special person by giving him special gift, care and attention, a touch (French kiss is included), thinking of him all the time, accept him the way he is, never intend to change it.”

Ma’am Titi : “When she’s older and fat, and he doesn’t mind. When he has no money, and she doesn’t mind, she works to cover the expenses.”

Edgar Dy : "What will make her happy is the most important, that is my primordial concern"

Jacques : “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”

Ibu Yok : “If you find a woman who is willing to go through hell just to keep the relationship going, you really should not take her for granted, that is pure love.”

Made : “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”

Dhe Nia : “Love is when I put my foot in his shoes, be emphatic, understand him well, willing to change and adjust my self to his preference, his happiness matters more than mine.”

Linda : “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”

Tenny : “Love is when her happiness is more important than mine, and I will do anything to please her, I even willingly prioritize her above mine.”

Grace : “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”

Daniel : “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

Anita : “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss”

Yani : “I happily wake up early morning every day to prepare all his needs and make him a cup of coffee, I accept him the way he is.”

Steve : “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,”

Titus : “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”

Elisabeth : “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends, even after they know each other so well.”

Monica : “During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my Daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Ella : “Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”

Christian : “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is more handsome than Brad Pitt.”

Audrey : “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”

Edwin : “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

Jessica : “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.”

And, to me, love is : “Praying for him more than for myself, keep smiling when he reject my calls, and keep sending him my "love" text messages even never got replied, and if life is a journey, I choose to travel with him.“

If you can’t describe your love now, that is okay, maybe to you it has its own reason, its own answers, and its own explanations, or maybe it has never meant to be understood. Some thoughts are better left unsaid, some feeling are better left kept unexpressed, but for this deep feeling, I don’t wanna miss my chance and will not let it unsaid : I LOVE YOU, pray for you is my way to hug you from a distance. You always be in my heart.

“Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NLV)

BECAUSE LIFE IS A LEARNING PROCESS

What would you do if you knew you would not fail? I would do ALL truly worth doing without any fear.

But I am not a “fail proof” person. I faced many failures in my life and the hardest part is not only dealing with the guilty feeling but to forgive myself. Sometimes I wish I could see what my life would be like if I had made different decisions.

The fear of failure is a major stumbling block for most of us. That is life all about. Nothing is permanent, joy, sorrow, glory, failure is just the season of life. By the way, I love this phrase “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, If you cant walk then crawl, but whatever we do we have to keep moving forward”.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt me every once in a while and I must forgive them for that.

I've learned that every relationship is not always meant to work, sometimes we're  just  meant to learn the lesson

I've learned that disappointments were not meant to destroy us but to strengthen and give us fortitude to accomplish God-given destiny

I've learned that God has perfect timing for everything, and I learn to wait on HIM, and it brings me peace

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes I have to learn to forgive myself.

I’ve learned that I spent so much of my daughter’s childhood worrying about doing the right thing that I sometimes forgot to simply enjoy her.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that I shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. Sometimes I have to let God

I’ve learned that even when I think I have no more to give, when a friend cries out to me I will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that luxury does not make us a decent human being.

In school, we’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, were given a test that teaches us a lesson. Never leave every moment without learning something, anything happen, it happens for a reason, and the best reason is that all things work for our good, as long as we let God take control.

Take a leap of faith. Take the first step of faith, we don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.  So, never mind fail, learn something from it. If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived.

I am who I am, am not perfect, I say stupid things sometimes, I fail sometimes  ……  I made so many mistakes I wish I could rectify, but that’s just me and my best teacher is LIFE.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28

HELLO, I'M BACK!

Counting down the time, June, May, April, March, February ...., ups!. It was 7^th of February 2012 that I posted my last notes. It’s been very long time, indeed, too long. I feel guilty for letting this blog is being neglected.

Why is that so long?

1. I had been deadly busy with work and ministry
2. Ideas oftentimes comes out when am in the toilet, then just ‘blank’ while in front of computer

But, here I am again. This is a short note to greet you all and say HELLO, I am back, and ready with a new post.

Happy reading !!

LIFE IS LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE

I love coffee, not only in the morning or when having a break time but also in the sleepy afternoon. World seems brighter and peaceful after a cup of coffee.

Life is like a cup of coffee. Coffee is bitter but almost everyone loves it. Life has many suffering but almost everyone loves to have life. People add sugar and milk to coffee to make it less bitter. Everyone adds variety to life to make life less boring and suffering.

Life is like a cup of coffee. Coffee tastes best when it is hot, same for your life. You are enjoying life when you are "hot" in luck, "hot" among your friends and "hot" in your career. Being "hot" is like the afternoon sun, strongest and brightest part of your whole life.

Next time when you drink a cup of coffee, reflect about your life. Enjoy your coffee, no matter what you add to it, sugar, cream, milk or whatever, even some raisin. World seems brighter and peaceful after a cup of coffee.

NOVEMBER ELEVEN TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN

I recall on the perfect date of September 9 2009 (9-9-09). I was so exuberant that day. It feels like that is the day of perfection. It’s a perfect day to start things, as its gonna be easy to remember.

What happened to my daily life at that moment was exactly not what I desire to happen : woke up late, skip my prayer time and rush my self to go to the office (its not a good start, isn’t it?), unaccomplished appointment, cancellation, anger and I messed up, here and there. The eagerness to force things done beautifully perfect is the major thing of making me so bad that day.

When I was a kid, it is the song I used to sing in Sunday School :

“Hari ini … hari ini

 HariNya Tuhan …. hariNya Tuhan

 Mari kita … mari kita bersuka ria ……”

(This is the day which Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it ….)

Every single day in our life is the day which The Lord has made. HE has never created such a bad day. HE bless the days HE created. HE conquers the days. HE grant us a brighter day every day, a new chance, a victory in hand to overcome any problems, and be a champion.

Every day is precious. Let’s celebrate every day. If we messed up yesterday, let’s make it better today. Don’t forget to stop a while and laugh ….. God bless your day.

HAPPY ENDING

Happy Ending is oftentimes epitomized in the standard fairy tale ending phrase, "happily ever after" or "and they lived happily ever after”.

“One Thousand and One Nights stories” – (kisah seribu satu malam) has the more restrained formula they lived happily until there came to them the One who destroys all happiness (i.e. Death). Satisfactory happy endings are happy for the readers / viewers as well, in that the characters he or she sympathizes with are rewarded. However, some consider this as not an ending, but an open path for a possible sequel.

Are you happy yet?

Every one pursues happiness in life. While in a happening, happy ending does not always mean happy for all. There is always loser, as you can not win everything. The problem also lies in the way we perceive happiness.

I read somewhere : “In the beginning happiness was a large crystal ball. The gods used to play with it. One day, while they were asleep, Happiness fell on the earth and shattered into millions of tiny little pieces. People were so fascinated with their beauty that immediately collecting them. Some gathered a lot, others found only a few. No one, however, could collect them all”.

The debate on whether money can buy happiness or not, has been going on for long enough, yet no one seems to be able to say for sure the correct answer is. There is also a saying that happiness come from within, we are the happiness itself. We are that large crystal ball that shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

To me, happiness is a decision. If life is pictured as a long journey, and every bend in the road is mark of a closing of one moment / happening / story in life, I would choose to be always happy, as much as I could be. Whatever it might be in life, better or worse, richer or poorer, health and sick, I hope I will always have time to stop a while, to laugh and thank God, in that oftentimes “bumpy road” called life, for I know HE is in me.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. [Rome 8:28]

There are no happy endings. There are only moments – millions of them- which we ought to live through out our live, choose to be happy!

LOVE NOTE TO MY DAUGHTER

“Kasih pasti lemah lembut

Kasih pasti mema’afkan

Kasih pasti murah hati

KasihMu kasihMu Tuhan

Ajarilah kami ini saling mengasihi

Ajarilah kami ini saling mengampuni

Ajarilah kami ini kasihMu ya Tuhan

KasihMu tulus tiada batasnya”

Dearest my little princess,

It is one old song Mommy was always singing as your lullaby. It tells us love and forgiveness, and it’s a plea to The Lord to teach us how to love and forgive.

My darling daughter, I delight in the joy of your existence. When I first cuddled you, your beautiful, soft, warm, sweet smelling in my arms, I knew I had fallen in love for the rest of my life.  You are the best gift of my life.

Being your mother is a God’s amazing grace, witnessing you grow I see every God’s promise is accomplished in my life through you.

I was not mothered myself as a teenager, so I did not have a pattern to follow. I spent so much of your childhood worrying about doing the right thing that I sometimes forgot to simply enjoy you. I made so many mistakes I wish I could rectify.

So today, I was completely overwhelmed by your trust in me, by your belief that I could help you. The fact that you want to talk to me about so many things in your life humbled me. I never knew that feeling for my mother. She had been with The Lord when I was just 13.

I hope you’ll always find time and a while to stop and laugh during the journey through this oftentimes bumpy road called “life”. When life gets you down and nothing seems to go your way, please remember that you always have Mommy, and that you are sincerely and perfectly LOVED.

My words are never enough to express my gratitude by having you in my life. You are my little princess and you remain will be.

With a hug and kisses,

Mommy

TERBEBAS DARI ROKOK - (translated by Haryono 'Yi Fu' Cokro)

{I decided to post the translation of my posting about quit smoking, as my appreciation and gratitude to my best friend Haryono 'Yi Fu' Cokro for his kind heart and care to anyone in the battle and struggle of quit smoking, thankful for his willingness to delay his bed time translating this "what he so called" - notes. Thank you Yi Fu, God bless you!!}

Terbebas dari rokok

Oleh : Ita Saleh (www.ita-notesoflife.blogspot.com) 

Ketika seseorang mengalami ketergantungan/kecanduan/ketagihan (addiction), sadar atau tidak, kita sedang menyerahkan hidup kita kepada addiction tersebut, sehingga tercipta suatu keterikatan yang membuat seorang perokok sulit untuk melepaskan diri. Bahkan ketika seseorang yang paling dekat/sayangi, termasuk putriku tersayang ketika ulang tahunnya yang ke-5, memintaku untuk berhenti merokok. 


“Hei, berhenti merokok tidaklah semudah yang Anda bayangkan”.

Salam sejahtera. Saya seorang mantan perokok, perokok aktif, dan bertahun-tahun diantaranya adalah perjuangan berat untuk lepas dari rokok. Saya suka sekali dan ahli merokok. Sensasinya ketika berada di jemariku, bau dan rasanya. Kepercayaan diri, harga diri, kekuatan, ketenangan, yang kudapatkan setiap kali merokok, membuatku semakin tidak dapat lepas darinya.

Saya menyadari betul, A.C.F (kandungan arsenik, sianida, dan formaldehida dalam rokok) sangat berbahaya bagi tubuhku. Dan efeknya lebih berbahaya lagi untuk orang-orang di sekitarku. Saya juga menyadari dan mengakui, sebagai seorang Kristen, Alkitab dengan jelas mengatakan bahwa merokok merupakan hal yang tidak sepatutnya kulakukan (1 Korintus 6:19-20). Sepertinya, setiap kali merokok, aku merusak tubuh "pinjaman" yang diberikan oleh Tuhan, dengan sengaja.

Selama 10 tahun pertama merokok, saya tidak pernah benar-benar berpikir untuk berhenti, karena saya menyakinkan diri bahwa jika saya ingin berhenti pun, hal itu tidak akan terjadi seketika. Lambat laun, saya mulai lelah, karena hidupku seakan ‘didefinisikan’ oleh rokok. Saya tanpa rokok adalah bukan saya lagi. 

Sejak saat itu, aku memutuskan untuk berhenti merokok. 1 minggu berhenti, kembali merokok lagi, 3 bulan berhenti, kembali merokok lagi. Suatu siklus yang seakan tidak berujung. Jatuh bangun berulang kali akhirnya membuatku berseru dan memohon pada Tuhan. “Tuhan, aku menyerah. Aku tidak dapat melakukan ini sendiri. Aku akan berhenti, ya Tuhan, berhenti, asal Engkau bersedia menolongku”. 

Kemudian Tuhan mengingatkanku pada suatu doa yang sudah kulupakan. Doa yang tertanam dalam rohku, doa yang membuka jalan bagi terobosan, doa yang mengubahkan hidup, doa yang ingin Tuhan dengar dariku. Doa itu adalah doa yang penuh penyerahan diri padaNya, pada kehendakNya. Aku sudah lakukan bagianku, aku berusaha semampuku, dengan tetap sadar dengan keinginan yang kuat untuk berhenti merokok, tidak lagi menjadikan rokok sebagai benteng perlindungan atau tempat pelarian.

Aku ingin bebas dan hanya Tuhan yang dapat membebaskanku. Doa demi doa kupanjatkan, akhirnya dengan kasih karuniaNya, aku benar-benar terbebas dari rokok sejak 4 tahun yang lalu. Ketika kuserahkan hal yang selama ini kupegang erat pada Tuhan, saat itulah, kebebasan penuh kudapatkan dariNya.

Ketika melihat ke belakang, saya menyadari bahwa bukan rasa dari rokok yang membuatku tidak dapat lepas dari rokok. Jauh di balik semua itu, pemenuhan diri (fulfillment) yang kucari (dan kudapatkan) dari merokok. Ketika saya stress, rokok yang kucari, bukan Tuhan. Ketika saya membutuhkan inspirasi dan ketenangan, bukan doa yang kupanjatkan, tetapi merokok. Bukankah, pemenuhan diri yang sejati hanya datang dari Tuhan? Ketika kita ‘minum’ dari sumber yang salah, kita akan selalu haus dan haus lagi, namun ketika kita ‘minum’ dari sumber yang benar, yakni melalui kebenaran Firman Tuhan, kita tidak akan haus lagi (Yohanes 4:13-14). 

Langkah pertama yang terpenting untuk kita terbebas dari merokok adalah pengakuan diri bahwa kita sedang bermasalah. Buatlah komitmen pada Tuhan dan diri sendiri untuk berhenti. Teliti dengan seksama kehidupan kita sehari-hari, situasi apakah yang membuat kita menyerah dan kembali merokok. Dengarkan hati yang terdalam, lihat dan rasakanlah kasihNya yang begitu besar, suatu kuasa besar yang memampukan dan menguatkan kita untuk bebas. Ingatlah bahwa kita tidak dapat melakukannya sendirian.

Pada akhirnya, bukan masalah biaya/harga dari rokok itu, itu tidak sebanding dengan KEBEBASAN sejati, yang membuat kita mulai berpikir untuk berhenti merokok. Berhentilah merokok! Hiduplah lebih sehat, segar dan bahagia. Dan yang pasti, hidup yang tidak perlu lagi mengorbankan orang-orang terdekat kita karena kebiasaan kita merokok. Tuhan memberkati.

SMOKE FREE LIFE

The first step toward conquering an addiction is to admit that you have an addiction. Most smokers would admit anything but an addiction itself, which is a problem. When you’re addicted, you give up your life to it. As many smokers can attest to, quit smoking is not like telling your best friends to go to somewhere out there.

Hey … I was a smoker.

I loved to smoke and was very good at it too. I loved the way the cigarettes fit in my hand, and smoking is not only about the taste your tongue tasted but the feeling, confident, dignity, affirmation and any other pleasant and poised and self assured things, name it! The feeling. The sensation. In pursuing of that feeling, even my daughter's wishes on her 5th birthday that she wanted me to stop smoking, touchy, but it didn't stop me. I just didn't do it when in the house.

It was not in my agenda to quit nicotine, simply because I had convinced my self that if I wanted to quit, I could not do it in a heart beat. Not too long ago, in 2007, only by God’s grace, I gave up smoking, quit successfully. Truth to be told, I got tired of being defined by cigarettes.

I give it up, I give it up……, shouted out loud and plea “Lord, I can’t do this by my self, I will stop. Yes I will, just help me to stop!” God has been taking me back to a certain prayer I have forgotten, a prayer that had always been at the very core of my spirit, a prayer that opens a way for breakthroughs, a prayer that has the power to transform lives, a prayer that God wants to hear from me, to surrender to HIS true will. I want to be free, and HE is the only one can set me free.

I must fight with strong desires of feeling, the ecstatic feeling, the amusement smoking brings. I must let it go and set my self free 

THE FEELING

If smoking was aimed to affirm our dignity, God has given us a dignity, hasn’t HE? If it was for a self confidence, our self confidence is not defined by a cigarette but the value within us. Naïve? The truth is our body is the holy temple of The Lord, by making it sick due to nicotine then we ruin the holy sanctuary of The Lord. You can’t set yourself free but listen to your heart, to the love of God inside you, take comfort in the knowledge that God knows you better than you know yourself. HE knows how you tick, and HE can repair you anytime you ask.

The truth is smokers know their A.C.F.s pretty well : Arsenic, Cyanide and Formaldehyde – the regular cocktail contained in a cigarette. I understand that to a –non smoker-, smoking is not only dangerous but also – let’s hear it- gross.

The first step is, off course, that you have to decide to stop and you will, then try to figure out every of your daily situation you have to cope, and every time you are about to give up your struggle, listen to your heart, deep ... deep... within your heart, there is a huge power in you, the power of God that strengthen you to overcome every temptation, believe in your self, you win!!

It’s not about the price of the cigarettes but setting your self FREE. STOP SMOKING!! You’ll be healthier, fresher and happier. Surely, you will share love with your family in an unselfish way by not making them passive smokers. 

Trust me, I did.