Thursday, May 19, 2011

TERBEBAS DARI ROKOK - (translated by Haryono 'Yi Fu' Cokro)

{I decided to post the translation of my posting about quit smoking, as my appreciation and gratitude to my best friend Haryono 'Yi Fu' Cokro for his kind heart and care to anyone in the battle and struggle of quit smoking, thankful for his willingness to delay his bed time translating this "what he so called" - notes. Thank you Yi Fu, God bless you!!}

Terbebas dari rokok
Oleh : Ita Saleh (www.ita-notesoflife.blogspot.com) 
Ketika seseorang mengalami ketergantungan/kecanduan/ketagihan (addiction), sadar atau tidak, kita sedang menyerahkan hidup kita kepada addiction tersebut, sehingga tercipta suatu keterikatan yang membuat seorang perokok sulit untuk melepaskan diri. Bahkan ketika seseorang yang paling dekat/sayangi, termasuk putriku tersayang ketika ulang tahunnya yang ke-5, memintaku untuk berhenti merokok. 


“Hei, berhenti merokok tidaklah semudah yang Anda bayangkan”.

Salam sejahtera. Saya seorang mantan perokok, perokok aktif, dan bertahun-tahun diantaranya adalah perjuangan berat untuk lepas dari rokok. Saya suka sekali dan ahli merokok. Sensasinya ketika berada di jemariku, bau dan rasanya. Kepercayaan diri, harga diri, kekuatan, ketenangan, yang kudapatkan setiap kali merokok, membuatku semakin tidak dapat lepas darinya.

Saya menyadari betul, A.C.F (kandungan arsenik, sianida, dan formaldehida dalam rokok) sangat berbahaya bagi tubuhku. Dan efeknya lebih berbahaya lagi untuk orang-orang di sekitarku. Saya juga menyadari dan mengakui, sebagai seorang Kristen, Alkitab dengan jelas mengatakan bahwa merokok merupakan hal yang tidak sepatutnya kulakukan (1 Korintus 6:19-20). Sepertinya, setiap kali merokok, aku merusak tubuh "pinjaman" yang diberikan oleh Tuhan, dengan sengaja.

Selama 10 tahun pertama merokok, saya tidak pernah benar-benar berpikir untuk berhenti, karena saya menyakinkan diri bahwa jika saya ingin berhenti pun, hal itu tidak akan terjadi seketika. Lambat laun, saya mulai lelah, karena hidupku seakan ‘didefinisikan’ oleh rokok. Saya tanpa rokok adalah bukan saya lagi. 

Sejak saat itu, aku memutuskan untuk berhenti merokok. 1 minggu berhenti, kembali merokok lagi, 3 bulan berhenti, kembali merokok lagi. Suatu siklus yang seakan tidak berujung. Jatuh bangun berulang kali akhirnya membuatku berseru dan memohon pada Tuhan. “Tuhan, aku menyerah. Aku tidak dapat melakukan ini sendiri. Aku akan berhenti, ya Tuhan, berhenti, asal Engkau bersedia menolongku”. 

Kemudian Tuhan mengingatkanku pada suatu doa yang sudah kulupakan. Doa yang tertanam dalam rohku, doa yang membuka jalan bagi terobosan, doa yang mengubahkan hidup, doa yang ingin Tuhan dengar dariku. Doa itu adalah doa yang penuh penyerahan diri padaNya, pada kehendakNya. Aku sudah lakukan bagianku, aku berusaha semampuku, dengan tetap sadar dengan keinginan yang kuat untuk berhenti merokok, tidak lagi menjadikan rokok sebagai benteng perlindungan atau tempat pelarian.

Aku ingin bebas dan hanya Tuhan yang dapat membebaskanku. Doa demi doa kupanjatkan, akhirnya dengan kasih karuniaNya, aku benar-benar terbebas dari rokok sejak 4 tahun yang lalu. Ketika kuserahkan hal yang selama ini kupegang erat pada Tuhan, saat itulah, kebebasan penuh kudapatkan dariNya.

Ketika melihat ke belakang, saya menyadari bahwa bukan rasa dari rokok yang membuatku tidak dapat lepas dari rokok. Jauh di balik semua itu, pemenuhan diri (fulfillment) yang kucari (dan kudapatkan) dari merokok. Ketika saya stress, rokok yang kucari, bukan Tuhan. Ketika saya membutuhkan inspirasi dan ketenangan, bukan doa yang kupanjatkan, tetapi merokok. Bukankah, pemenuhan diri yang sejati hanya datang dari Tuhan? Ketika kita ‘minum’ dari sumber yang salah, kita akan selalu haus dan haus lagi, namun ketika kita ‘minum’ dari sumber yang benar, yakni melalui kebenaran Firman Tuhan, kita tidak akan haus lagi (Yohanes 4:13-14). 

Langkah pertama yang terpenting untuk kita terbebas dari merokok adalah pengakuan diri bahwa kita sedang bermasalah. Buatlah komitmen pada Tuhan dan diri sendiri untuk berhenti. Teliti dengan seksama kehidupan kita sehari-hari, situasi apakah yang membuat kita menyerah dan kembali merokok. Dengarkan hati yang terdalam, lihat dan rasakanlah kasihNya yang begitu besar, suatu kuasa besar yang memampukan dan menguatkan kita untuk bebas. Ingatlah bahwa kita tidak dapat melakukannya sendirian.

Pada akhirnya, bukan masalah biaya/harga dari rokok itu, itu tidak sebanding dengan KEBEBASAN sejati, yang membuat kita mulai berpikir untuk berhenti merokok. Berhentilah merokok! Hiduplah lebih sehat, segar dan bahagia. Dan yang pasti, hidup yang tidak perlu lagi mengorbankan orang-orang terdekat kita karena kebiasaan kita merokok. Tuhan memberkati.

Monday, May 16, 2011

SMOKE FREE LIFE

The first step toward conquering an addiction is to admit that you have an addiction. Most smokers would admit anything but an addiction itself, which is a problem. When you’re addicted, you give up your life to it. As many smokers can attest to, quit smoking is not like telling your best friends to go to somewhere out there.

Hey … I was a smoker.

I loved to smoke and was very good at it too. I loved the way the cigarettes fit in my hand, and smoking is not only about the taste your tongue tasted but the feeling, confident, dignity, affirmation and any other pleasant and poised and self assured things, name it! The feeling. The sensation. In pursuing of that feeling, even my daughter's wishes on her 5th birthday that she wanted me to stop smoking, touchy, but it didn't stop me. I just didn't do it when in the house.

It was not in my agenda to quit nicotine, simply because I had convinced my self that if I wanted to quit, I could not do it in a heart beat. Not too long ago, in 2007, only by God’s grace, I gave up smoking, quit successfully. Truth to be told, I got tired of being defined by cigarettes.

I give it up, I give it up……, shouted out loud and plea “Lord, I can’t do this by my self, I will stop. Yes I will, just help me to stop!” God has been taking me back to a certain prayer I have forgotten, a prayer that had always been at the very core of my spirit, a prayer that opens a way for breakthroughs, a prayer that has the power to transform lives, a prayer that God wants to hear from me, to surrender to HIS true will. I want to be free, and HE is the only one can set me free.

I must fight with strong desires of feeling, the ecstatic feeling, the amusement smoking brings. I must let it go and set my self free 

THE FEELING

If smoking was aimed to affirm our dignity, God has given us a dignity, hasn’t HE? If it was for a self confidence, our self confidence is not defined by a cigarette but the value within us. Naïve? The truth is our body is the holy temple of The Lord, by making it sick due to nicotine then we ruin the holy sanctuary of The Lord. You can’t set yourself free but listen to your heart, to the love of God inside you, take comfort in the knowledge that God knows you better than you know yourself. HE knows how you tick, and HE can repair you anytime you ask.

The truth is smokers know their A.C.F.s pretty well : Arsenic, Cyanide and Formaldehyde – the regular cocktail contained in a cigarette. I understand that to a –non smoker-, smoking is not only dangerous but also – let’s hear it- gross.

The first step is, off course, that you have to decide to stop and you will, then try to figure out every of your daily situation you have to cope, and every time you are about to give up your struggle, listen to your heart, deep ... deep... within your heart, there is a huge power in you, the power of God that strengthen you to overcome every temptation, believe in your self, you win!!

It’s not about the price of the cigarettes but setting your self FREE. STOP SMOKING!! You’ll be healthier, fresher and happier. Surely, you will share love with your family in an unselfish way by not making them passive smokers. 

Trust me, I did.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

DESIGN OF LIFE


In an ‘after office talk’ a good friend of mine sharing about a seminar she was about to go. The topic of that seminar excited me so much. She told me about redesigning our life.  

Hmm… a design of life, a plan of a human’s life which meant to be a beautiful and successful life and now has to be rectified here and there since things went wrong somewhere somehow. It might be caused by our careless regimen or wrong reaction or decision or taking the unjust point of views, so that we could not gain even more and better. Its about fixing (what so called) a broken life, adjusting unjust point of views, renew way of thinking, making a new beginning and gain a successful ending, yeah ….., something like that. It is expected that all participants would retrieve an insight and refreshment so that they could start a new beginning, live a better life and successfully win.

There’s a saying that life is 10% what happens and the other 90% is how we react to it. I think of how often I reacted wrong and made stupid mistakes in my daily life. How many nights of regret since I fail to be good that day, fail to control my emotion, fail to be kind, fail to finish my work perfectly, fail to accomplish my promise, fail to be patient, fail to be committed to my diet, even fail to be on time, et cetera. I always hope of being given a second chance, that tomorrow will come and I would do all things better, no mistakes and the day would end perfectly.

But, that perfect day has never come. I still make mistakes here and there. If our life today is the result of our attitudes and choices in the past and our life tomorrow will be the result of our attitudes and the choices we make today, there would be an unbreakable chain of consequences as the result of yesterdays’ failure I have to face. WOW, it’s not a desired life. But to err is human and I am only a human, a creature.

Thus, how many times does my life have to be redesigned? What does my life design look like? The best way to discover the plan and purpose of a creature is to go to the creator. Who created me? The LORD did.

Jeremiah 29:11 - 'For I know the plan I have for you,' declares the LORD, plan to prosper you and not to harm you, plan to give you hope and a future.'

That is HIS design / plan for me. No matter how many times I failed but HIS design remains. HIS forgiveness enables me to forgive myself and move on. When I slip up and make mistakes, God is fully aware that I need HIS mercy daily. How awesome to know that HE loves me enough to give me HIS gift of mercy every morning to start the day.

Lamentations 3 :22-23 – “Because of The Lord’s great love we are  not consumed, for His compassion never fail. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness”

HIS plan doesn’t have to be re planned. HIS design doesn’t have to be redesigned. No matter how many times I failed but HIS design remains

Friday, January 21, 2011

STUCK - UNANSWERED PRAYER


Its translated by Wikipedia – free online dictionary, stuck means not moving or flowing or motionless. Its only showing little or no sign of activity or advancement, not developing or progressing.

I had ever gone through a stagnant period of my life. When I felt uninspired and unmotivated, nothing moves, dreams were far away from coming true, problem after problem, when everything seemed like out of God’s sight and I only lived a “deadly life” a life without soul, hopeless, exhausted, prayers just blown away.

When prayer seems more like struggle and I found myself repeating the same requests over and over and even wonder, "Is anyone really listening?" Then I cried out loud : “Did it mean anything to YOU, Lord? I didn’t see things happen”.

Many times I just sit back and learn to live with things that are less than God’s best. I was just hopeless that life is ever going to get any better.

How about you? Have you ever been in a stagnancy of your life? Prayers are left unanswered?

Do you realize that even not all Jesus’ prayers were being answered? I take comfort in remembering that Jesus too, had unanswered prayers. It was occurred in the garden of Gethsemane, when Jesus struggled with God, pleading with loud cries and tears to the one who could save HIM from death. “Everything is possible for YOU” Jesus pleaded to the Father. “Take this cup from me”.

But, we all might have known, it was not happening. HE died on the cross. The cup was not being taken from HIM. HE did not get the salvation but HE got instead the salvation of the world.

There are no unanswered prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO.

But, do we believe that no matter it takes HIS plan is the best for us? Do we believe that HE is never leave us alone?

God never promise a life without pain, laughter without tears. HE never promised that you won't meet a problem, but HE promised that you are able to solve it. HE grants you sufficient grace and strength to live your life.

We can stir our faith today to rise up higher, be happier, and live a more fulfilled life. We’ve got to learn how to shake of complacency.

When waiting your prayers answered, HE provides you patience. When having your prayers answered, HE adds you faith. When later HE says NO, HIS courage and strength are sufficient to hold you and keep your heart remain joyful. Keep praying !!

Monday, January 3, 2011

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION


Entering 2011, a new year is always a new chance, new hope of change and a resolution. There’s a saying that new is for change, without change new is unnecessary.

I’ve never thought seriously about a resolution of a new year so far. What I have done usually after counting down the time is to thank God on HIS kindness, strength and grace HE granted me along the years passed by, and a little prayer that the upcoming year would be better than before. It has never been that distinctive and specific goal I set for next year.

Better is never measurable. I avoid committing myself to something which is measurable by numbers or any other metric. For instance, to have some Kg’s of weight loss within 6 or 12 executing months.

Even it was just for fun, I had ever declared of a funny resolution which I called “RESOLUSI TAHUN BARU ANTI GAGAL” (a fail proof new year’s resolution). What was in it? It contains of a row of non measurable things to be achieved in the upcoming year, such as : to be a better person, more love and care, laugh a lots, et cetera. How could you declare yourself achieve things without knowing / measuring the achievement?

How would you measure yourself of becoming a better person? How good you would become? This kind of promise or resolution or commitment is never ever been able to be justified. So, you can’t determine whether you success to accomplish it or fail at all.

I hate to declare myself of starting all over again. WHY? Oftentimes it relates to the things that I have not successfully done. That’s why a new year’s resolution is never been serious to me before. I was afraid to make a mistake and fail. It is hard dealing with failure and the guilt. The worse part is when I fail to believe in my self.

But, something come across my mind, a bothering question then. Despite a new year's resolution,  isn't a plan  needed before executing things? Don't we believe that when we fail to plan we plan to fail? I had never realized when I lost my faith dealing with failure, it was an ignorant of God's mercy and grace that enable me to stand up every time I fall.

This thought was encouraging me to think of a plan how to live my life in the upcoming year, more than just a beautiful resolution, but I have to oversee my regimen in order to gain meaningful things in  life, that I have to move from a comfortable zone by living a mediocre life to a miraculous zone to live a blessed victorious life.

What’s now? Here is some of my measurable new year’s resolution.
1.      Live  a healthy life by having exercise 4 times a week at 2 hours / each
2.      Spend 2 more hours to read
3.      Post new entry into my blog twice a month
4.      (What else? Some more personal things that I could not share, but believe me, they are all measurable).

Finally, my wish for you, may you have a bright today with much to be thankful for, a path that leads to the beautiful tomorrows, dreams that do best to come true and an appreciation of all the wonderful things about you. May The Lord lead you every step into victory of your life, grant you strength to live and accomplish your new year’s resolution.

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

SILVER REFINERY

There is a place in the south part of Jogjakarta, known as Kotagede where it is a central of silver handy craft and jewelries. When touring to that area, besides viewing silver handy craft which is displayed on the show case, buyers or visitors are also allowed to visit their workshop, where the process of refinery and crafting take place.

In the workshop, I watched the silversmith sit in front of the fire, held a piece of silver over the fire, in the middle of fire where the flames were hottest and let it heat up. This process is aimed to burn away all the impurities.

The silversmith had to hold the silver and moreover keep his eyes on it the entire time it was in the fire for being refined. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. This process is finished when the silversmith could see his image in the silver. In this state means the silver is fully refined.

The silver refining process reminds me of how God refine and shape us, to burn away all the impurities. I could imagine the pain if I were a silver. Troubles and life struggle are the time of God’s process of refining us, to purify our heart.

If today, you are feeling the heat of fire, when the trouble comes, when life struggle, remember that HE is holding us and never left us a moment, HE keeps watching us through the entire process, till HE sees HIS image in us.


Malachi 3 : 3 “HE will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver …. “

Sunday, November 14, 2010

A MOMENT OF GRATITUDE

It is only few hours now heading to my birthday moment, November 15.

This is what I have in my mind. I am trying back to focus that my life is not only about gaining my goals, but live a grateful life to God’s never ending love and HIS faithfulness.

A birthday is a new beginning of another 365 days ahead, and always a moment of gratitude to The Lord Jesus for every day's blessing, guidance, love, strength and HIS faithfulness. When I recall the way HE leads me to the present time, I am forever grateful.

I am grateful, I am grateful …..

I will praise YOU, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are YOUR works, and that my soul knows very well. [Psalm 139 : 14]

Saturday, November 6, 2010

WHAT IF ...


“Bapa surgawi ajarku mengenal
Betapa dalamnya kasihMU
Bapa surgawi buatku mengerti
Betapa kasihMU padaku

Semua yg terjadi di dalam hidupku
Ajarku menyadari KAU selalu sertaku
B’ri hatiku selalu bersyukur padaMU
Kar’na rencanaMU indah bagiku”

Someone reminds me of this old song which was sung by Lex’s Trio in the 80’s. The most powerful lyric emphasized is : “Semua yg terjadi di dalam hidupku, ajarku menyadari KAU selalu sertaku …”. (Anything happens in my life, teach me to realize that YOU always be with me).

Many times we are twisted and shaken by bad things happen in our life. Then thousand questions addressed to God : “Why should we face this problem? Why should we lose our beloved one? Why should this relationship break up? Why should we deal with this difficult person? Why does it take too long for God answer our prayers?”.

I do believe anything happens, it happens for a reason. There is nothing a coincidence. A coincidence is when God works anonymously. My friends, God has the reason and the reason is US.

We were created for God enjoyment, to accomplish HIS will. The most challenging and interesting way to learn is from human. Human inspires human. “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friends”. (Proverbs 27:17)

We tend to blame God of all those bad happenings and unpleasant circumstances. I think if God himself has to teach us HIS way, we might not understand, so HE has to show us the life lessons to learn.

I have been through things, and at the end of the story, I would shout out loud that God is true. It was just when I didn’t understand the whole scenario. In the times of temptation, when we have to go through trying times, often we doubt HIS goodness, question HIS faithfulness.

“What if HE let me going through this time alone?”
“What if HE doesn’t help me out of this problem?”
“What if HE didn’t do miracles like in the past?”
“I know HE is powerful and able to do that, but what if HE doesn’t want to do it for me?”
“What if ……

On the contrary, let’s exchange the questions to be :
“What if HE is faithful and shall never let me through this time alone?”
“What if HE cares?”
“What if HE is good?”
“What if HE loves me so much more than I do to HIM?”

Trust HIM with no prejudice. Never let yourself walks away from HIS way. HE is with us, in the time of trouble, in the time of temptation. HIS goodness and mercy shall follow us, the rest of our days. Keep ourselves in joy. Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God. Joy is the flag that flies above the castle of troubles.

“Let those who fear The Lord now say, HIS mercy endures forever”. (Psalm 118:4)

God is good, HIS mercy endures forever. Bahwasanya untuk selama-lamanya kasih setiaNYA.


Notes to Dotty Lilipaly : my dear Sister, “thank you” is never enough to express my gratitude and appreciation to you, for being with me, for become “an angel without wings” God grants me.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

GOD IS NOT TURNING AWAY


This writing is dedicated to Erin on the passing away of her beloved Mom.

Erin is one of my daughter’s school mates while in PETRA elementary school. They were three and closed each other : Kiki, Claudia and Erin. [in this picture : upper part : Kiki, center : Claudia and right :Erin].

I myself know Erin’s mother well, we met quite often especially in the parents meeting and fellowship. Erin’s father is a reverend who gives his life to serve in the small church at the north part of my home town, Kediri.

It was shocking when few weeks ago we got a news on the passing away of Erin’s Mom due to a traffic accident. What suddenly I had in my mind was how Erin would react to this situation.

I remember, I was at her age when losing my Mom. I had a really happy childhood and when my mother died, I felt like it was the end of the world.

Everybody was busy themselves during the funeral and after all I was left alone, no shoulders to cry on, no friends to share, no siblings to hug and shed my tears. I had to be able to encourage my self during this transitional age, from a kid to a teenager.

There was an anger in me, the anxiety of why God take my Mom, whereas HE knew I was still in the mourning due to passing away of Papa. I really didn’t understand God’s way. I thought HE was turning away, turning HIS face away from me.

Well, it has been 24 years ago when all those happened. Now, I accept all those happenings joyfully since I believe God was just too wise to be mistaken by taking my Papa and Mom away.

HE carefully touch my life and whisper all the time to my ears : “Ita, I’ll never leave you alone, I’ll be with you all the time and your future is in MY hands”. Just as day time shifted to the night, when the sun rise and set, all the cycle of life, God is in charge and promised to be an ever present help in time. I had to trust HIM, and as it is began, my hopeless days turns into treasured moments with HIM.

This is what I would like to share with Erin. God is not turning away when all the troubles and hardship come. Joy and sorrow, happiness and trouble are just the season of life, but they will also declare the presence of God. Joy is not the absence of hardship but the presence of God, all the time.

** Erin, Auntie Ita and Kiki, express our deepest condolences on the passing away of your beloved Mom. Though she may move beyond our reach, but she is in Heavenly Father’s care.

Keep strong in faith. Jesus loves you, so do we!!



*** Precious in the sight of The Lord is the death of HIS faithful ones. [Psalm 116 : 15]

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I AM BACK

Counting down the time, September, August, July, June, May, April, March ...., ups!. It was 21st of March that I posted my last thought. Its been very long time, indeed, too long.

Why is that so long?

1. I had been deadly busy with work
2. Serious relationship problems arise and distracted my mind
3. I have nothing to share that might be become a blessings to others while I myself struggling in those problems

But, here I am again. This is a short note to greet you all and say HELLO, I am back.

MARRIAGE IS A DAILY LIFE

Before I continue writing, forgive me for the title of this post that may sounds like it understates the meaning of marriage. NO! It is not ...